10 signs that Papadada has been in France for quite some time...

1. He can effortlessly park a car in the teeniest of spaces. And quite comfortably parks illegally, like all good, french motorists.
2. He can read one of Sticky Baby’s favourite books to him - and the whole thing is in French! Top points scored for authentic french-man accent.
3. He prefers red wine over beer.. and even has some impressive vinoculture vocab to show off with.
4. He finally understands the virtue of small cars. Where we once owned a ginormous Toyota Prado beast, we now zip around in a miniscule Citroen.
5. He is addicted to baguettes and hardly ever eats regular sliced bread
6. He wears Speedos. He wouldn’t be caught DEAD in Australia wearing Speedos. It was board-shorts all the way. But now? Black DTs it is! Public swimming pools, the beach - wherever there is water, Papadada is rocking the budgy smugglers. Women around the world are rejoicing. Me in particular. Geez, the man looks good in a Speedo!
7. He has cultivated a mild fascination for Vespa scooters. His loud, garish, dirt bikes are a thing of the past.
8. He owns a beret. Yes. He. Does. A Lacoste one at that. Double french points there.
9. Duck is his favourites meat. Quack.
10. He drives like a lunatic and swears in french when he gets road rage. Merde! Putain! I have taught him well. 
11. (just because I can never keep a list down to 10) He once ordered Foie Gras ICE CREAM. And enjoyed it. 

Someone, give this man a French flag so he can fly it proudly from our balcony. He’s passed the test. He’s a real frenchie now!