Thursday, July 8, 2010

The loss of a friend

All morning I’ve been indecisive as to whether or not I should write this post. Part of me knows it’s inappropriate content for a baby blog. I try and keep things light and lovely and fresh on these virtual pages. Because for the most part, I’m one of those ridiculously LUCKY humans whose life truly is light, lovely and fresh..

Unfortunately, life is not always that way. And I awoke this morning to some horrible news that has driven that very fact straight through my heart.

One of my dearest male friends from high school died earlier this week from a drug overdose. I am numb.

I don’t want to waste my words about him on the negativity that consumed his life this past decade. But I will say this. Drugs kill. And they killed my friend. He let himself get swept up in the tornado that is drug addiction. What started with ‘harmless’ pot smoking in Year 11, turned to much more sinister things. We tried to intervene so many times. But nothing worked.

He was one of the smartest people I knew. A talent for words like no other, a gifted writer. A wicked sense of humour and always the life of the party. He was the first of our friends to get his drivers licence which made him God in our eyes. My senior years are littered with memories of laughing fits in the back seat of his car, drive-thru McDonalds in the afternoons, sneaking out at night and meeting on the local golf greens. He reminds me of that first taste of freedom, of feeling grown-up, gaining independence, our whole lives ahead of us, the world our oyster. I will always remember that group of us, he at the helm, always a cheeky smile and a naughty twinkle in his eye. His laugh was contagious.

He and I lost touch for a number years, as his addiction took hold and created an irreversible chasm between him and his ‘old life’. Part of me feels such guilt at not having tried harder. Though try I did. But I also know that the choices he made were his and his alone.

So this post is to say “Goodbye" to my beautiful friend. I know you will find peace and happiness where you are today. I will miss you. I will miss the 17-year-old you, who I used to have long, caring talks with and eat too many mini-Snickers bars while doing so.

Sticky Baby, when you are old enough to read and understand this post I want you to know that drugs, ANY drugs, no matter how harmless they seem, can lead to this. It’s not just ‘other people’ this happens to. This was mummy’s friend. And I never want it to touch you, or one of your dear friends. You and I will have long chats about this, so you know that it’s just not worth it. None of it is. It’s a waste of energy, a waste of money, a waste of a life.

xoxooxox Miss you Pete xoxoxoxox


Mrs G said...

Mama L...your post made me cry at work...and then I cried in the car all the way to Marty's work and then cried all the way home... lets remember the 17 year old that we used to love and hang out with

LJ said...

Mama L, your post made me cry at work too and I never knew your friend. I'm so sorry. Know that for a brief time your paths crossed and it was beautiful in that moment.


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