Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Job description expanded

Ok, new bullet point to add to my job description:

  • Human Kleenex Tissue

Sticky Baby is sick. Some form of common cold. Probably contracted from yo-yo-ing between the air conditioned house and the heat outside. Boo.

I caught it too, but the major difference between he and I is that I can actually blow my nose. He, on the other hand, chooses to wipe his shnoz on every article of clothing on own, even when I’m waving a tissue or hot wash cloth in his face like a Spanish Toreador to his bull. No thanks mum, I prefer shmearing my snot on your shoulder.

Would you like to know what I’m wearing this minute, in  preparation for Sticky Baby awakening from his morning nap? A full-length terry-towelling bath robe. Papadada’s in fact, so you can be sure the thing is GI-MASSIVE on me. Seriously, if the kid is going to use me as a hanky, I may as well make myself as absorbent as possible.

My guess is that the handsome one and I won’t be trying for a second baby any time soon, as this ensemble if quite possibly the apparel-version of birth control.

If only snot had miracle properties...then maybe I could maximise my situation and apply it as a rejuvenating moisturising face mask. Or a kick-ass hair treatment. Dreams...


LJ said...

Oho man! Snotsville, population: you!!

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