Tuesday, January 18, 2011

GG2011

GOLDEN GLOBES! AWARD SEASON! TIME TO GET MY BE-YATCH ON!

(Disclaimer: I am going to be horrifically one-dimensional, shallow and critical throughout this post. I actually really really really like most of these artists and think they are truly talented. That said, I'm going to indulge my inner-cattiness and let rip! Be warned!)

Tilda, Tilda, Tilda...WTF? Girl, you fell out of the ugly tree tonight..

Helena Bonham-Carter aka HOT MESS with disparate shoes.

Miss Williams, FYI, Woodstock was 5 decades ago.

Renaming this Gossip Girl, 'Granny Girl'. Beige nearly always ruins my day.

Clearly Jennifer Love is my stalker - 'cause that is precisely the way I pull my hair up before a shower. And the frock is frucked. iiiiiiiik.

Seal: "I thought you said we were going to a 70s-themed birthday party for uncle Frederick tonight! This is the effing Golding Globes! WTF Heidi! Your blackberry schedule f*#cked us over!"
Heidi: "Just smile, Seal, calm the f*#ck down and smile your gappy smile!
Guiliana Rancic is closing in on us. SMILE!"

Post break-up bangs...step away from the scissors, Sandy.

Nathalie, I am bitterly disappointed. I heart you. And I can't wait until Thursday to see your new flick. But I'd rather stick that appliqued rose up my yina-banina than see it on your dress.
Gross. Out.

LOVE the dress! But girl, you need to eat a shit-tonne of spinach and grow at least 2 feet
before pulling that one off..(but you still look hot and Tony can go SUCK IT!)

 Gorgeous. That green is enviably divine with her colourings. I want to kick her in the shins.

I hardly recognized Emma Stone in this. But I LUV a Calvin Klein dress
and this is yet another success. Peachy deliciousness. Modest, classic yet surprisingly different.
Fresh. Big tick.

Sofia Vergara, I think you are PERFECTION!! Glamorous and bold, that dress showcases your amazing, womanly figure without showing too much skin. It's classy yet risky in red, and your hair is TO DIE!
You are my #1 pick for GG fashion.


(Joan Rivers, I am available as a panelist for Fashion Police, any time. Call me).


5 comments:

Nikosmommy said...

I've read about half a dozen blog posts today dedicated to Golden Globes fashion, but yours made me chuckle and I completely dig your bold honesty!

Natalie {Designer Bags and Dirty Diapers} said...

I love it! Your post was a million times better than mine! I have yet to see that picture of Seal and Heidi! Holy Crap I can't believe they left the house looking like that. And why did Jennifer Love Hewitt wear a damn wedding dress.

Mama L said...

Thanks guys! I love a red carpet, I really do. And JLH's dress TOTALLY is a wedding gown, I agree!!!

Mrs G said...

I agree with the others, this post was great! laughed a lot ....and I hope Joane Rivers gives you a call :)

Erin said...

Is it bad that I didn't hate Heidi's dress? I know it got slammed but the print was really pretty (minus the trash bag bow in the front.) And I'll admit, the color of Angie's dress was gorg but what was with her greasy scarecrow hair!? Sofia also looked stunning (of course.) More importantly, how's the new pad coming along?

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